I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
