He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
