Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
