someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
