I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
