so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
