so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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