Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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