Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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