My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
