Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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