He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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