If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
