once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
