why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
