As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
