All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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