Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
