I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
