is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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