p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
