Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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