Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
