When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
