THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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