I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
