Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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