thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
