I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
