Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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