Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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