In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize