I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He has the fingertips of a God
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