i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
