The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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