I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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