i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
