fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
