I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize