Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
