I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
