Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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