I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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