i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
