You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
