i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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