getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
