I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i love accidental penises.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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