but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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