I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
