Soap is not a condiment
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
