Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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