I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
