If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
