it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize