After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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