Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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