Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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