Me too!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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