he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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