Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
